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Print | Fighting the war on Terror
Right from Springville© - Mar 09 2012
with Bob Inabinette : bobeye@portervillepost.com

RIGHT from Springville © with Bob Inabinette You may think that this idea is funny and not take it serious but think on it and I think you may agree. I have stated in my book, "TOTALLY PISSED OFF" that we are in a war with Muslims and it can't be fought in the traditional way. We must exploit their weaknesses and I will explain some ideas to do so.

While we Americans have a natural instinct to live the Muslims find glory in dying. The men have been indoctrinated from birth that when they die for Allah they will have 70 virgins waiting for them. We have to start educating them. We have to start explaining that if they think about it, not enough virgins have preceded them to accommodate the men who die for Allah.

We need to further point out that sex with a virgin is not all it is cracked up to be and after one time she is no longer a virgin. A converted virgin with experience is much more fun. We could drop flyers on the Taliban explaining this. Most of them are illiterate but the few who could read would explain it to the others. Those who can't read would all be grateful for the free toilet paper. We could also pay informers to circulate among them and explain this information. These same informers could also explain the next program.

TOTALLY PISSED OFF The next thing is for our military to import herds of hogs. It is a known fact that the Muslims think of hogs as unclean and won't eat it or even be around them. The pig pens could surround the military bases to keep the suicides bombers away. The Taliban would be afraid that if an explosion occurred they may get splattered with pig gore. The troops would always have a fresh supply of pork.

The pigs could be used to patrol for IEDS while being herded by dogs. If the hogs got blown up it would contaminate the area forever. The useable parts of the hogs would just be fresh pork for dinner. The hogs could be herded into buildings and tunnels to flush out the terrorist. If the hogs got trapped in a burning building it would be barbeque for dinner.

Hogs are carnivorous and would feed on the dead terrorist preventing them from getting to Mecca. There is no such thing as a fair war so we use everything in our arsenal including hogs.

Most people like Spam so when you send gifts to our troops be sure to include Spam as I did when my grandson was in Iraq. Pork rind snacks are also a favorite so include those. Be sure to tell our troops to scatter the empty Spam cans and snack bags around the perimeter of the base so the terrorist will know it is an "unclean" place.

Right from Springville ...

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